According to our research, many echidnas lose their lives every year to the TPAC epidemic brought about by dihydrogen monoxide abuse. This epidemic would have been easily preventable, if only the use of DHMO was more carefully regulated. Today, businesses across the globe carelessly process and dispose of this highly erosive substance. Because of this negligence in exercising caution, DHMO is destroying countless numbers of echidnas each year. We believe that echidnas are entitled to the same protection from harmful substances as we are. Send a message to the businesses of the world and tell them that we will not stand up for this reckless abuse any longer! Sign the petition, and demand an end to the DHMO abuse of echidnas!
A Petition for the Restoration of the Echidna Species
Part 1: Declaration of Rights
We believe that there are no moral or rational grounds for denying safety from chemical abuse to the echidna population. On the contrary, we believe that both reason and human compassion compel us to recognize these fundamental truths:
* Nature, having been made by the hand of Almighty God, has certain intrinsic values.
* Echidnas are a part of nature, just as every other animal in existence is.
* As stewards of this planet, it is our job as humans to care for and watch over what is found in nature. Therefore, we hold that echidnas are entitled to these fundamental rights:
*The right to safety from corporate exploitation
*The right to peaceable living, free from the terrors of a sudden and painful death
*The right to live in one's own home, unencumbered by the fear of involuntary eviction
*The right to receive aid in distress even when unable to voice pleas for such aid
*The right to make a petition for a redress of grievances
Having been found that the current practices of DHMO handling violate all but the latter two of the aforementioned rights, we hereto present this petition.
Part 2: Resolutions
Recognizing the horrendous plight of the echidna race, we, the concerned caretakers of this earth, do resolve to:
* accept responsibility for our part in this abuse
* raise awareness of the current state of affairs regarding DHMO abuse
* indentify and promptly end all methods of DHMO abuse
* seek the full restoration of the echidna species
In accordance with these resolutions, we petition the businesses of the world to end the detestable practice of DHMO abuse.
