Perkins Restaurant, End Your Sexism

dear sir or vagina,

the perkins restaurant in cranberry township (pennsylvania) is a very sexist organization, and this sexism doesn't stop. ALL businesses are guilty of the same sexism, i see it every day, and i was put on this earth to Risk Affirming Patriarchal Endeavors - to disrespect and belittle members of the little gender who are employed by perkins or by anyone else. let me stress, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

i understand why it is commonplace for restaurants to hire members of the egg-bleeding/milk-spouting gender as ones who SERVE ("wench, bring me my beer"). i understand why these little ones, living in mister rogers "land of make-believe," are always out to justify themselves as masculine with the words "a woman can do anything a man can do," i really do understand that they are spiteful and contemptuous of the masculine gender, but there is no excuse for the sexism that i was subject to when i was at perkins restaurant today. i twice heard the little vagina, who brought our food to us, refer to two other vaginas, who were seated not far away, as "ladies". she referred to my date with a respectful "mamn," yet she did not address me, or the man sitting two tables down from me, with the same respect when she spoke to either of us. not a "sir," not a "gentleman," nothing of the sort. yes, i wanted to break her nose with my fist, and i should have.

i suppose that our server was a lesbian, kissing ass of the lackluster (shorter, smaller, weaker, less hungry, less horny) gender simply because her mental gender-identity outcasts her from her own physical state of gender - and therefore she feels a need to show reverence like she's a leprechaun under the spell of a four-leaf clover, but the perkins corporation needs to fire their sexist employees. members of the pipsqueak-gender get enough piteous overcompensation for their lackluster existences with gender-based athletics and gender-based requirements for the military, gender-based fitness centers and gender-based lumberjack competitions (chainsaws, anyone)...therefore, the perkins restaurant in cranberry township should not be placating the limp gender into a false sense of legitimacy with what can only be described as sexist (no waiters, only waitresses) hiring practices ("sexist hiring practices," hmn...can you say "maureen mcelhinny" or "the green valley veterinary hospital," now?). furthermore, the perkins restaurant of cranberry township should not be slighting members of the superior (bigger, taller, stronger, hungrier, hornier) gender by allowing their employees to address any egg-bleeder with respectful language while not even bothering to show men anything reminiscent of the same respect.

though "guys" was not used by the vagina at perkins, the next time i am out with a group of businessmen and we are referred to as "guys" by a little, lowly vagina, i'm going to refer to the five-foot pipsqueak as a vag. i'm going to refer to EVERY lackluster female this way, i'm not too proud to belittle and disrespect women, i'm not too proud to punch their faces and break their noses, and i think that men everywhere should begin to disrespect all women, either through physical rape or through poetic/verbal rape. like hillary clinton, "i am sick and tired" of men being slighted in the movies and on television as weak followers, while the egg-bleeders are seen as the responsible and strong heroes. i think that BROADS should be exposed for the FRAUDS that they are - the egg-bleeding frauds who must have every physical competition based on gender so that they can finish in first place, the milk-spouting frauds who'd be ignored without the laws that were put into place to ensure that their lackluster existences are equally represented in the workforce. the baggage-infested frauds who demand equal pay when their baggage keeps them from delivering equal outcome (pipsqueaks take 45-50% more sick-days than men, do they really deserve equal pay?)

perkins restaurant in cranberry township, the green valley veterinary hospital in new brighton, pure athletix in wexford, as well as every business in existence, should not use sexist hiring-practices to placate members of the lesser gender. members of the lesser gender should not be placated by anyone, but feminism is as commonplace as it is a gender-identity issue, and perkins should not be contributing to the degradation of society by placating women with delusions of ability and with delusions of importance. i think that society is endangered enough when national defense is compromised for the sake of the physical disabilities of the little female soldiers, and perkins restaurant should not be further contributing to the degradation of society with a workforce comprised mostly of egg-bleeders/milk-leakers. it is false advertising, it gives little kids with impressionable gender-identities a false sense of reality. vaginas are LOWLY, they are angry that they're lackluster in comparison to men, they are contemptuous of men and masculinity, they are wannabees ("anything a man can do," anyone?) and putting them in the limelight (i saw no men servers at all) just contributes to the lie that men are not the superior ones.

notions of masculine superiority are so quickly understood as "sexist," they are therefore (in the words of alanis morissette) "under rug swept," and they're replaced by unjustifiable notions of feminine superiority. which is also a sexist notion. i remember dolly parton and company, back in the 1980s, using the term "male chauvinist pig" to ruin their sexist boss - well, my mens' group, Risk Affirming Patriarchal Endeavors, is out to ruin the "female chauvinist pig" using some of the same tactics as the feminists in "9 to 5" used. (what i wouldn't give for jane fonda to come to one of our meetings, such a fitness queen...but so little physical strength...what gives? maybe they're just not made to possess a competent level of strength)

feminism is a gender-identity issue, it is a gender-identity issue to even speak the words "a woman can do anything a man can do," feminism is sexism, feminism is a knee-jerk type of defense-mechanism for when everything about the bigger/taller/stronger reality slaps the little ones in the face. feminism is spite. i know their game, i've played their game - i didn't wear a tank-top at age 19 because i wanted to, i wore a tank-top at age 19 because i was a wannabee. i was trying to justify my skinny and weak-looking self as masculine, i knew i was a far cry from the man i wanted to be, but i wanted other people to see me as more than i thought i was. hmn, that sounds like a matchbox 20 cd.

anyway, feminism is spite. feminism is a skinny 19 year-old using props for a sense of masculine identity. props for a sense of masculine identity - hmn, let's see - how about an ad for a gym with a small-framed woman in the foreground and a broad-shouldered man off to the side - how about a mean-looking expression on a woman who's curling a grueling 15-pound dumbbell (insert nanny fine's nasal laugh) - how about 6 or 7 men lifting up a big pick-up truck...with help from a little runt-female on the end? these are props i have seen, these are props to give the lesser gender an unreal sense of self-esteem from a sense of masculine identity.

the problem with putting pipsqueaks in the limelight, the problem with celebrating egg-bleeders like they're "something to be" (well, that sounds like a rob thomas cd), is that if little kids grow up to regard females as superior to men...IN SPITE OF THE BIGGER/TALLER/STRONGER ASPECT OF MASCULINITY...then society will just become broken because it will be built on a lie. when things are built on lies, they are not real and they don't last. take my being gay, take my looking at men through the gawking eyes of dumbfounded masculivoid...that's not legitimate. i know it's nothing to be taken seriously...if i followed society's direction and based my life on the mistake i've made of my own gender-identity, my life would fall apart because of the lie my life was based on. i'd be crying out to god to deliver me from my confusion. take chastity bono, whose confusion and body were both largely manufactured (or built) on the lie of mistaken gender-identity. she would not accept herself as female, much like females won't accept themselves as lesser than men, so chastity bono volunteered to became more broken than she had been, in hopes to one day become whole...while, for many years to come, all the king's horses and all the king's men are going to have to use a boatload of hormones and counselors (and props) to put her together again. oh, she's still a girl, she just has a new wardrobe. masculinity has been manufactured onto her.

at least chastity bono was a feminist with the right idea. like an old mtv slogan, "you can't sing the song if you don't know the words," feminists (and the skinny 19 year-old in a tank-top) are trying to sing the song...but at least chastity bono did her best to learn the words.

(insert nanny fine's nasal laugh)

mr. dylan terreri, i
dr.. sheldon cooper, ii
dearsirorvagina.com
www.jaggedlittledyl.com, LLC
--------------------------
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna
www.jaggedlittledyl.com/essays
--------------------------