Demand an Asparagus Emoji, Now!

The emoji keyboard is full of disgusting, sexually suggestive fruits and vegetables. From the spongy yet flabby eggplant that no one eats intentionally, to the cucumber whose watery flavor exists only to ruin the taste of other ingredients, there is NO excuse for not including the greatest vegetable, asparagus. There are no less than two apples available--from a company called Apple! We demand an asparagus emoji, NOW, in purple, white, and green.