Survivor's Remorse: Apologize for Belittling People with Cleft Palates and Lips

My two year old son, Andrew, was born with a cleft lip and palate. When he was first born, he had to be airlifted to the nearest city's children's hospital where he spent the first two weeks of his life in the NICU. Having to watch your newborn be lifted away in a helicopter and then travel 1 1/2 hours to get to him is devestating - something I hope no parent ever has to experience.

When he was just shy of three months old, Andrew went in for his lip repair surgery. What a tough little one I was blessed with! Recovery was good, but long and hard.  Right before his first birthday, Andrew had his palate surgery and ear tubes put in.  Since then we have had numerous trips back and forth to the children's hospital, but he still can't do simple things like drink from a straw. 

Living with a cleft palate or lip is extraordinarily difficult, which is why it was so upsetting to watch the October 3rd episode of the Starz TV show "Survivor's Remorse." In this episode the characters described children born with cleft lip and palate as having "f'ed up mouths, snaggle teeth, and weird lips." 

I hope it is plain to others why I would find these words hurtful and ugly. Parents of cleft-affected children try to teach our kids to accept themselves and to hold their head high, smiling with pride. Talking about children with cleft palates in such a derogatory way on a popular TV show sends the opposite message.

With such high profile names like LeBron James, Mike O'Malley, and Tichina Arnold attached to this show, it would make the cleft community eternally grateful to turn this unfortunate and upsetting choice of words into a chance to teach acceptance and awareness.

The term "cleft" means a split or a divide. Children can be born with a variety of cleft types and with variable severity. In a cleft lip there is a separation of the sides of the upper lip. This separation often includes the bones of the upper jaw and/or gum. A cleft palate is an opening in the roof of the mouth (called the "hard palate" and "soft palate") in which the two sides of the palate did not join while your baby was developing in utero. Cleft lip and cleft palate can occur on one side (unilateral) or on both sides (bilateral). Because the lip and the palate develop separately, it is possible to have a cleft lip, a cleft palate, or both.

Like my son, babies with cleft lip and cleft palate may have other difficulties that include feeding problems, middle ear fluid and hearing loss, dental problems, and speech problems. Kids with cleft lip and palate will need several surgeries to fix the cleft. Even with the many successful operations and treatment for cleft lip and palate, some kids have a hard time growing up with this condition.

Please sign this petition to ask those involved with the the TV show "Survivor's Remose" to issue a public apology for belittling people with cleft palates and lips. And please, help educate others about the cleft community by sharing this petition.